One word that I struggle with: time.
There’s not enough time. There’s too much time. What are you doing in the future? It’s time to let go. It’s time to be patient. It’s time to move on…time again… it’s time…what time is it?…And I can go on with time related phrases.
T-I-M-E. These four mini letters when arranged in this particular order become something so colossal. And I struggle with it. With the fact that it is an arbitrary concept that we have set in the world, with the hundreds of paradoxes attached to it, and with the fact that things don’t happen when we want them to but when we need them to.
Sometimes, I want to live in the fast lane and get to where I’m going and not have time for anything else. I want to get my to-do list done now, and I want to do everything I’ve dreamed now, and I want to know what my future is going to be like now and I want to stop when I know I’ve done it all…Do I?
“I want to know what my future is going to be like now and I want to stop when I know I’ve done it all…Do I?”
Looking back at all the things I’ve gotten easily and quickly, I never appreciated them: I wanted them. I had them. I didn’t care about them.
But every single thing I’ve worked for that has taken months or even years to get, figure out and accomplish, I have relished every little bit of it. And of course, I can’t forget it. The years of emotional struggle I’ve overcome. The years of acting training to get where I’m at now. The years of friendships that I’ve kept that have turned into family. The years of studying.
And I’m not saying that you only are touched by the long journeys. No. There are single moments – single instances – where I have been hit by a life-changing experience. And I can tell you where I was, who I was with, what was around me.
We all learn from both and we feel both.
But what I’m saying is: I never realized how important perseverance has led to some of the greatest longtime journeys in my life. And when things get tough, sure I’ll sometimes want to quit.
But dear, remember from the longest of journeys you will learn the loveliest of lessons.